Sunday, 26 February 2012

Tuesday, 04 January 2011

  • all the highs and lows;

    "I wonder how many people I've looked at all my life and never seen."


    My passion pushes people away,
    they don't understand my hatred of complacency.
    I'll lose everyone before I let the enemy win,
    And I'll lose everything before I let anybody in.



    we'll make love make magic.








    words don't make what I make with him.



    Y'know I'm not dreaming away, am I?



    My heart is racing
    To think that you're in reach



    I could make you happy too, if only you'd give me a chance.







    Will you understand how it feels?







    Cause I'll fall again
    If I see your face again, my love
    And I've done all my crying for you, love







    I'm so sick of being strong for everyone.
    I want someone to be strong for me.







    I need to see you more, to feel you in my arms and know you're real,
    I'm not asleep and this dream came true. I just need it so bad.
    I need you so bad.







    My own blood stains my hands.
    I have done this to myself, forever and never.







    Everytime you say my name
    A piece of me falls into place.








    anything beautiful is fragile.







    I'll never let you go.







    if it didn't matter, you wouldn't be thinking about it.





     

    your eyes crinkle when you are very happy.







    I would live forever if I could, but not like this.








    I'm so scared of finding nothing.







    The love is draining from our hearts.




    I am very happy.
    x

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

  • even when your hope is gone;

    Yo.
    Fuck this shit.



    I hope you do amazing things in your lifetime.
     I hope you kiss everyone you want to
    and build skyscrapers with the love you make.



    Besides, maybe this time is different.
    I mean, I really think you like me.



    And I put up walls a little each day to give myself space.
    When every day I'm losing sense and I'm losing my taste,
    then you change all that just by walking in.
    You take the knives out of my back and peel away my old skin.



    If only you knew how many times I counted all the words that went wrong.
    If you only knew how I refuse to let you go, even when you're gone.
     I don't regret any days I spent, nights we shared, or letters that I sent.



    When you touch me, I know there is purpose in my life    .



    And you'll be alone now, I hope this is all that you wanted



    You write such pretty words,
    But life's no storybook.
    Love's an excuse to get hurt.
    And to hurt.



    And together we won't fail.



    I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
    I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
    I want to exorcise the demons from your past
    I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart



    If you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me.



    if your stomach feels weak then my work here is done.



    just
    Let
    Her
    Crash
    And
    Burn
    She'll learn



    Some people are just born with tragedy in their blood



    A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
    Every action in this world will bear a consequence
    If you wade around forever you will surely drown
    I see what's going down.

    Do you ever just want to change the world?



    You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.




    So sick of everything.
    I don't want to feel anything for anybody anymore.

    Currently
    Scene Aesthetic
    By Scene Aesthetic
    see related

Friday, 13 August 2010

  • you're the yellow bird that I've been waiting for;

    Been screwin' shit up as usual lately.
    Yeaah, I'm good like that.

      

    I've got my foot in my mouth and a shovel in my hands,
    I'm saying all the wrong things and digging my own grave.



    And lately, everythings been so on the surface.
    There's no depth, nothing goes any deeper.
    So superficial, so shallow.
     I'm sick of sitting in the wading pool on my own.



    Are these feelings self fabricated?
    Do we control how we feel, our happiness, our sadness?
    Or is there no control over our emotions?
    For a human mind and a human body are two very different things.
    A human body can be controlled, monitored, but a human mind?
    Well, they can be uncontrollable.
    Sure, you can tame it temporarily, but your thoughts will always fly freely.
    So do we control emotions, or do emotions control us?
     


    The thing with flaws is, sometimes they are what make people perfect.



    Don't bottle your tears darling,
    they're a dime a dozen
    you just can't get enough of the attention.



    How could I not feel worthless.
    If you don't love me, who could?



    somewhere in a private place,
    she packs her bags for outer space,
    and now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come.



    She can't remember a time when she felt needed.



    And where are you when I need you most?
    You were never here then, so why would you be now?
    My whole past has been a lie.



    You want the rest of your life to be a funeral? Or you want to actually live?



    I am a mess of insecurities and weakness.
    And I'm crying out for help, but it gets lost in the wind.
    My message in a bottle was lost at sea,
    and the words from my mouth say that everything's okay.



    At least in my dreams, I mean something.
     


    but you think about yourself too much and you ruin who you love.



    Remember the time you drove all night just to meet me in the morning
    and I thought it was strange, you said everything's changed.
    You felt as if you had just woke up.
    And you said, "this is the first day of my life, I'm glad I didn't die before I met you.
     But now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you
    and I'd probably be happy."



    What was it that Adam ate that he wasn't supposed to eat?
    It wasn't just an apple.
     It was the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
    The subtle message? 'Get smart and I'll fuck you over' sayeth the Lord.
     God is the smartest, and he doesn't want any competition.
    Is this not an absolutely anti-intellectual religion?



    Why do I feel responsible for all this pain and hurt?
     I take on too much of other people, and it's weighing me down.
     I am being crushed by the fears, hurt and worries of everyone around me.
    And there is nobody to lighten those burdens.
     And I always feel so alone, even in the company of love.



    "She’s so good at concealing things, hiding, avoiding…
    the thought of letting it out, showing her cards, scares her to death."



    I wish that I could be in some other time and place with someone else's soul, someone else's face.



    The words you say never seem to live up to the ones inside your head,
    the lives we make never seem to ever get us anywhere but dead.



    I don't think things can turn out. That's all, and I've accepted it.
    It doesn't matter to me. It's not pessimism, just a sort of sadness, sort of like not having any hopes.



    I wish to dream of happy things, that are real even when I wake up.



    I'd just like someone to hold me, and tell me that I'm not a failure.



    I've learned that you can keep going,
    long after you think you can't.




    It's been too long a night, and I've gone insane a thousand times since beginning this.
    I just need a hug.
    x.

Thursday, 15 July 2010

  • I remember all the moments he took my breath away;

    Hello.

    I am too weak to be your cure.

    We are lucky if we have something that
    makes saying goodbye so hard.

    I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.

    I have all these feelings -
     these weird feelings and I've had this burning desire to express them.
    But I can't. I just can't.
     And these feelings -
     they're trapped and they're stuck in my heart.
    And I just feel so lonely.

    Stop worrying so much. Worry is using your imagination to create things you don't want

    you are alive,
    you are living and breathing in this moment,
    you are terribly beautiful and fantastically unique,
    do not waste it

    you can complain because roses have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.

    You have to remember that with love, you're not the only one involved.

    I can't promise I'll fix all your problems, but I can promise you won't have to face them alone.

    All I'm asking is don't make promises you can't keep,
    and don't say things you don't mean because in the end,
    those things mean everything.

    For any of us, forever can end in an hour, or a hundred years from now.
    You can never know for sure, so you better make every second count.

    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard.
     Do not let the pain make you hate.
     Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.
     Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree,
    you still believe it to be a beautiful place

    I like dead end signs. they're kind,
    they at least have the decency to let you know
    you're going nowhere.

    and i wonder what i’m doing in a place like this.

    Sometimes there's nothing scarier then getting what you want
    , because then you truly have something to lose.

    I want to go back to believing everything and knowing nothing at all.

    when you leave this town, please remember me. because i'll always remember you.

    and each morning she wakes with a dream to describe.
    something lovely that bloomed in her beautiful mind.
    i say "i'll trade you one for two nightmares of mine, i
    have somewhere i die, i have somewhere we all die."

    "And that was it. All this buildup to a great leap, and I didn't fall or fly.
    Instead I found myself back on the edge of the cliff, blinking, wondering if I'd ever jumped at all.
    It's not supposed to be like this."

    so fail. be bad at things. be embarrassed. be afraid. be vulnerable.
    to out on a limb or two or twelve, and you will fall and it'll hurt,
    but the harder you fall, the farther you will rise.
     the louder you fall, the clearer your future becomes. failure is a gift, welcome it.
     there are people who spend their whole lives wondering how
     they became the people they became, how certain chances pass them by,
    why they didn't take the roads less traveled. those people aren't you.
    you have front row seats to your own transformation, and in transforming yourself,
    you might even transform the world. and it will be electric, and i promise it will be terrifying. embrace that. embrace the new person you're becoming.
    this is your moment.

    do it, because the things that you're scared of, are usually the most worthwhile

    i don't have a fear of commitment; i have a fear of abandonment.
     we all screw things up. i screw things up, especially with the people i love.
     i get needy, i get moody, i get distant, i want to be too close.
     i get confused, i don't understand all of it.
     but i keep pushing because i have hope in this thing, the universe.
    there's no way i'm the only person out there who wants it this bad.
     if i want it, someone else out there must too.

    and you're not there for me like you should be.
    I needed you, where were you?
    What makes you deserve a second life,
    when I'm stuck in this one?

    and we must have been really horrible in our past lives
    to deserve this present pain.

    This is for the girls who don't always win,
    who stay up all night listening to music that inspires them to do things next to impossible--
    the girls that laugh, smile, and cry all on a daily basis--
    the girls who like, learn and regret--
    the girls who may never have it easy--
    the girls who learn the hard way and live to tell about it.

    You must be blind if you can't see you'll miss me til the day you die.



    I love how no matter how upset I am, despite whatever it is,
    I have the weirdest, funniest friends in the world who make me laugh.
    Life is good, man.


     

unexplainedabsence_xx

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